"I Want Something New." Now What?
I hear this all the time. From hockey players, soccer players, track athletes. Young guys coming up through juniors who feel like their club has stopped making sense. Players in lower leagues who want more. Athletes who quietly wonder -- what if I tried something completely different?
A transfer to a different club. A different sport. A different level. A new environment.
And yet the change never happens. Season after season, you stay where you are. Not because it suits you. But because it's familiar.
Why We Fear Change More Than We Should
The brain is lazy. That's not an insult -- it's a fact. Evolutionarily, it's programmed to conserve energy and avoid uncertainty. Unknown = potential threat. And threat = stay where you're safe.
But "safe" doesn't mean "good." It just means "familiar."
I know this from personal experience. For a year and a half, I played at a club where I knew there was no future. Training was average, the atmosphere was bad, development was zero. But leave? That was hard. What if it's worse somewhere else? What if they don't want me? What if I lose my spot in the lineup?
Fear of the unknown is stronger than dissatisfaction with the current state. That's a principle that applies to almost everyone.
Fear of the unknown isn't weakness. It's a normal reaction. The problem isn't that you're afraid -- the problem is when fear makes decisions for you.
Emotions Won't Help You. A Framework Will.
When I was dealing with my transfer, I tried something. I stopped trying to solve it with emotions and gave it structure. I took a piece of paper and a pen and broke it down into four parts.
It might sound too simple. But it works.
1. What Am I Currently Unhappy With?
Be specific. Not "it's kind of weird there." But what exactly doesn't work for you.
The coach isn't giving you playing time. Commuting takes three hours a day. Pay doesn't match performance. The system of play doesn't suit you. Rate it from 0 to 10, where 10 is maximum dissatisfaction.
Example: Low pay → 8/10. It bothered me a lot. That number matters.
2. What Do I Want to Achieve?
This is the goal. Where you want to go. What you want to gain from the change.
Move up to a higher league. Get into a different playing system. Earn more. Train under a specific coach. Switch to a different sport where you see more potential.
Rate it -- how much does this goal matter to you? Move up to the second division → 9/10.
3. How Do I Get There?
This is the process. What specifically will you do to get closer to the goal.
I'll contact three clubs I know are looking for players in my position. I'll start training with a personal coach to make my performance visible. I'll reach out to an agent. I'll make a highlight video from my best games.
How realistic and manageable does this process feel? Personal trainer + contacting clubs → 7/10.
4. How Big Is My Fear?
Be honest here. Don't say "I'm not afraid at all," because that's a lie. Give your fear a number. 6/10.
Dissatisfaction (8) + Goal (9) + Process (7) = 24. Fear = 6. When the sum of the three numbers clearly outweighs the fear, the change makes sense. Numbers tell you what emotions hide.
What to Do with the Result?
The point isn't that when the numbers work out, fear disappears. It won't. The point is that you know where you stand.
If dissatisfaction + goal + process together clearly outweigh the fear -- you know the change makes sense. You'll still be afraid. But you'll know why you're doing it.
If the numbers say the opposite -- the fear is justified, the goal isn't clear enough, or you don't know how to get there -- then you also know what you need to do first. Clarify the goal. Find a concrete path. Or admit that the change doesn't make sense right now.
Both are okay.
Practically: How to Do It Right Now
Take a piece of paper. Not your phone, not notes on your device. Paper and pen.
- Write down what you're currently unhappy with. One specific thing. Rate it 0-10.
- Write down what you want to achieve. One specific goal. Rate it 0-10.
- Write down how you'll get there. One specific first step. Rate it 0-10.
- Write down how big your fear is. Honestly. Rate it 0-10.
- Compare the sum of the first three numbers with the fear number.
The result will tell you more than hours of thinking.
Thanks to sports, you know how to work under pressure, evaluate situations quickly, and take action. This is exactly that kind of situation. You just need to see it clearly first.
Change doesn't start with courage. It starts with clarity. When you know why you're doing it and how you'll approach it, courage comes on its own.
Fear of Change Is Normal. Letting It Decide for You Isn't.
How many athletes do you know who stayed at a club a year longer than they should have? Who knew it wasn't working but stayed anyway? I know plenty. I was one of them.
I'm not afraid to admit that I put off my transfer for too long. Fear won over logic. And looking back, I know I wasted time that I could have used differently.
Dissatisfaction is a signal. The goal is the direction. The process is the path. Fear is just one variable -- not the boss of the entire equation.
Next time you feel it -- that urge to change something -- don't make excuses and don't beat yourself up for being afraid. Take paper. Break it down. And then decide based on numbers, not mood.
For more on setting specific goals and plans during an active career, check out the article How to Set Goals That Actually Make Sense as an Athlete.